I strive to do this most of the times, but today, I almost failed at my attempts at “finding the brighter side…”
As I get older, I realize that the thing I
value the most is good-heartedness.
— Alice Walker
The week of love reverie that I started this week was drastically interrupted today with unsettling news. The type of unsettling news your heart senses is coming and leads you to fervently pray for your hubby and his comrades as you stand in your kitchen about to have your first cup of coffee. The kind of unsettling news that make you tuck your phone in the waist of your pants because you are sure you are going to get a call to confirm what your heart senses. This was my scenario this morning. Although I hinted that we had entered deployment number 10 or 11 last year(I've lost count because there has been so many), my blog for the most part is devoid of the stresses of being a military spouse going through the umpteenth deployment. As military families, we tend to be resilient and not show weakness. We hate being pitied and at first glance, you probably think we have it all under control. However, that is a far cry from our reality.
This brings me to the unsettling news that I bet you didn't hear about in the news. When the call came like I sensed, it was brief and I learned that there was one fatality. I later learned that actually two heroes were killed and 4 of their brothers were injured. Though he is fine, my hubby was right there. I need not say more about the emotions that I have encountered today. On the day of departure for this deployment last year, one of the fallen heroes was with his family in the same parking lot as we were bidding farewell and sharing “see you soons…” And today my hubby had to place his body on a plane IN a CASKET.
I am disappointed that our heroes seem to not have a voice. I am disappointed to see people pretend there isn't a war. I am disappointed that people don't care. The children, the families left behind are real. All day today through intermittent tears, I watched my boys play and all I could see was their Dad. I saw his eyes in Z and little Ian is a muscle man just like him. I will not pretend and say I am fine because I am not. However, I will continue on in true military fashion. I am very thankful for the outpouring love and support that I received via fb, twitter, texts, and phone calls this morning when I initially shared about the one fatality. That gives me hope to know that there are people who still give a damn.
RIP to the fallen heroes and I pray for full recovery for their wounded brothers. I also pray for the unsung heroes, the families of the fallen who are left behind. xx